Analysis Paralysis

by Ren Stedman

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released April 4, 2017

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Ren Stedman Grays, UK

Acoustic / Folk Musician from South Essex, UK.

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Track Name: Day After Day
bones that don’t fit
and a heart got rejected
the whites in her eyes
as the windows reflected
and locks on the door
and emergency exit
she’s paying for a mind that used to be so similar to mine.

waking and pacing
the halls that were painted
colours that calm
all the thoughts that were making
you fall off the edge
of the problems you’re facing
she’s paying for a mind that used to be so similar to mine.

And in the light of day
light only shines over problems you’ve made
and things won’t be the same
you’ll only get worse as the drugs hit you harder each day
after day after day after day after day.

signatures documents
people who say
that the woman in room 24
is insane
she’s bruising her knuckles
so they look the same
colour as her eyes when he told her that she was to blame.

speaking in riddles
and rhyming in tongues
the weight grabs a grip on her
spine and her lungs
she stares into space
where she thinks that she’s from
and the nurse calls her name
to give meds so her head can be numbed.

button up
just shut it up
just don’t say a word
if you say anymore
you’ll be straight for the hospital ward
Track Name: Get Better
I used to live for days like these
waking up at half past 3
and crawling in when your alarm would speak.

I guess perhaps I’m growing up
Or maybe I’ve just seen enough
Of people going downhill rapidly.

and from the day that you met me
I’ve only been selfless once or twice
and though you tried hard to change me
the truth is I’ve been selfish all my life.

So call me what you want
but at least I can be honest with myself
I know I used to hold a front
and when I needed it I wouldn’t take the help
but I am changing how I think
and I am trying to change everything
and I hope that you can get better as well.

I lost my friends or let them go
in honesty I wouldn’t know
cause half the time I drank too much to see

If they had just got bored of me
and all my bullshit misery
and all the extra bullshit I would speak

and from the day that you met me
I’ve let almost everyone down
and when the cops came to take me
you thought I would turn things around

and if you’re feeling lost like me
just know I’m trying desperately
but sometimes you’re your own worst enemy
I am my own worst enemy.
Track Name: Waiting For The Rain
Some things just won’t fit right
but it’s not your fault this time
I stay awake all night
with company of thoughts of mine
and
I bruise my knuckles and my brain
repeat the action act the same
and my bones fill with heavy weights
and while I’m waiting for the rain

to come again
my spine proceeds to bend
is this the end is this end for me?
I gave up on pretending
I can just predict the ending
and these sweats at night
will drown me like the rain that we just knew would come again.

I’m a coward, caught me out
substances to ease my doubt
that skies will clear and somebody might hear
me shout.
bottle up and drink it down
alcohol and months without
a purpose that is worthwhile to keep me here now